My Heart Longs

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“Some begin to talk
to themselves as do the mad, some give
their hearts to silence.” —Simone Weil

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I long to give my heart
to Silence,
the silence that precedes all sound, absorbs all sound,
and no noise shall overcome it—
even the clamor of my own brain,
even the quiet beating of my own heart. I long to give my heart to Silence
but I find myself,
like now,
addicted to words—
to the way they sound,
the way they look on paper
the way they yield to my control
I find myself absorbed in
this constant muttering.
God, I plead,
absorb me in your will,
dissolve me in your Silence,
dissolve me in your love
that I may be given out
like you
in the feeding of others
that I may fulfill my obligation,
that I too may say
“You must sit down
and taste my meat.”

​

Karin Heikkila